I fought with this for 3 days as well and finally got it to work.
DO NOT HIT TEST EMAIL at any point.
smtp server: email-smtp.us-west-2.amazonaws.com
port: 587
TLS
If you have already attempted a password, change it to 123456 and hit save (this may not be necessary but It was in the steps I did)
Go back into the setting and change to amazon SES password.
Save
To check if it actually works I just created a dummy user to another one of my email addresses and got the email. I then reset that users password and that email also got to me.